Kabhi alvida na kehna-Hamesha ke liye alvida kehna

Choosing the correct spouse and the correct occupation are the two biggest decisions of one’s life. Director Karan johar said in an interview in the context of the movie “Kabhi alvida na kehna” that “What happens if you find the right person at the wrong time after meeting the wrong person at the right time?” This is equally relevant for the other big decision of one’s life l ” What if you find the right occupation at the wrong time after finding the wrong occupation at the right time” ?

Since one has to spend three to four times the amount of time on one’s career vis-a-vis one’s spouse as it involves a majority of waking hours(, there are graver emotional and fiancial consequences . In a marriage, a divorce is at least feasible but in an occupation, many people find themselves trapped in what can be best described as a “lifetime imprisonment”. )

One cannot be happy if for a majority of waking hours, one is not in an occupation of one’s liking. Osho had used the word “dare devils” for people who had the guts to change their occupation.

Osho further said that it is not possible to know thyself without being yourself but being is realized only when one starts working (In work, we have the possibility of discovering ourselves) but it is too late to change by then as in some cases described below(Views of some vocational psychologists/ experts):-:-

 “The truth is that for most people, substantial career change is a multiyear process, from the first glimmer of exploration to the nuts and bolts of making it happen”-Curt Rosengren, person behind www.passioncatalyst.com.

“There is a huge difference between doing something because you want to and doing it because you are paid to. The decision to leave the security of a job(no matter how far short that job falls of perception of a “dream” job) is never taken easily”-Morgan and Banks, HRD consultants in 28 countries.

Sometimes, the best way to find yourself is to flirt with many possibilites.We do not give up a career path in which we have invested so much of ourselves unless we have a good sense of the alternatives. It takes on an average, three years from the time a person decides to leave a company until he or she walks out the door. Those are not good or productive years.- Heminia Ibarra, author of “Working Identity”.

Another American conultant, Craig Nathanson( http://www.thevocationalcoach.com/reveals how after 25 years of suffering, he just could not take it anymore and had to suffer a divorce and  bankruptcy but he forced himself to change his career to what he enjoyed more and made it his life’s mission to help other people in a simiar predicament.

Another consultant Lance Secretan calls for a destiny, cause and calling statement for everybody followed by a career meditation. All these complications show how tough it is and hense Hamesha  ke liye alvida kehna. In the movie Amitabh Bachchan says that love and death is in the hands of god. I would second that for love of profession(calling or vocation as well)

In each of the above books/sites and Po Bronson’s “What should I do with my life”, there are examples of people who have managed the change but they clearly reveal how long and tough  it can be. Nanette Hucknall’s “Karma destiny and career” describes in detail how much the family and friends have to adjust when the work msifit has to go “back to school”. I have not come across anybody in India who has gone back to school.

What I can’t understand is that if man can reach the moon and plan go to Mars, why can’t he make better proactive attempts to both know himself and ensure much faster change in a case of maladustment on  an issue so fundamental to  Individual’s happiness and society’s productivity.

President Abdul Kalam’s views are under “Quotable Quotes” under the  Relevant links section on the right 

It would not be out of place here to mention here that in the year 2002, the movie Devdas was released.Shahrukh khan and Sanjay Leela Bhansali were the actor and director respectively.  It is all about how the hero goes into a negative spiral when he does not get whom he wanted as a life partner. This movie has been made nine times but the plight of the “Career Devdas“(not getting the career of one’s liking) has not been shown even once.

Though Farhan Akhtar is an intelligent director, the movie “lakshay” barely touches the issue considering the magnitude of the problem in my view. I did try to moot the idea to Mr Shahrukh khan through his brother-in-law(childhood friend of my brother) without success. As a student, it is very difficult to understand all this until the living hell is depicted on screen.

It would not be out of place to mention here what Shahrukh said in an interview that he gave to the times of India “Men and Women”,26th July, 2002. He says, “At the end of the day, you can take away everything from me but you can’t touch that ecstasy when I stand in front of the Camera- that’s the core of everything, there I am making love to my audience”. Shahrukh may not know it but some other great artists have expressed similar sentiments about their work. If only everybody could get such ecstasy; one should at least make an attempt.

Incidentally, Mr Bhansaligave an interview to Life positive magazine in the year March’2000 where he says ,” I tried a career in chartered accountancy but my entire being revolted. You have to be grateful to let life lead you and not fight it. And once you know what you want to do, the struggle for excellence begins. It never lets you give up”. As pointed out above, what about those who don’t know what they want to do or cannot change- their future can be described in just one word the other fantastic movie that Bhansali made- “B  L  A  C  K””


(The movie reiview is given here- http://hirenshah.wordpress.com/2006/08/11/kabhi-alvida-na-kehna-osho-ka-alag-hai-sochna-svabhavik-hai-bahuton-ko-chaahna-sirf-ek-ke-saath-kyon-hamesha-rehna/


21 Responses to Kabhi alvida na kehna-Hamesha ke liye alvida kehna

  1. manish says:

    “Choosing the correct spouse and the correct occupation are the two biggest decisions of one’s life”–yes,very true.Choosing the correct occupation remains to be one of the toughest things in life,since it requires a lot of self analysis and introspection.And for Indians,it is even more complicated,with so much of hype attatched to certain kind of jobs and other jobs being looked down upon.

  2. [==amutha==] says:

    nicely put.

    will be watching it for SRK anyway 😛 i’ll add on later.


  3. wK says:

    My philosophy is you can never dislike the skills for the job you trained at , only the industry you are involved in. Perhaps take the mechanical engineer in your previous post as an illustratation. I’m sure being an engineering graduate gave him a strong mathematical foundation which he could apply in the finance industry. With his career background , I’m sure he would be able to specialise into mutual funds dealing with engineering firms. I dont think his career as a mechnical engineer is a complete waste of time. Hope I make sense

  4. serendipity says:

    True- not many are willing to explore , do some self analysis etc. And there is this herd mentality of all joining the s/w jobs these days. Not many are willing to pause, take stock of themselves and what they wish to do.

    And after landing in a job through the campus placements, again the issue is that very few look for off campus jobs in the field of their choice.

    Our apitite for taking risks, for that matter even calculated risks is quite low

  5. KD says:

    Always agree.. I chased my dreams till today.. and I go to work everyday with the energy of a teenager and I come back home with a feeling of accomplishment. I am getting paid half what most of my friends who chose the hot jobs earn.. but I know I am happy as they start looking out for thier next jump..

    You keep the spirits up for all of us..and keep spreading the passion.. which is undoubtedly what success is all about.

  6. Paresh says:

    Very true. The search for the right career has two aspects: Realising what is ‘right’ for you and then going for it!
    The first thing may take several years or few months depending on how fortunate you are; unless ofcourse you are completely conversant with your own core competencies.
    The second step may not be easy for all; especially if that ‘right’ profession involves uncertainity about financial outcomes.

  7. Sudha says:

    i think there is one more reason why most people just try to survive in the line they have chosen instead of starting anew in a different career, or even trying to explore what they like best – the stigma attached to being a failure. there is a phase of uncertainity before you can become an established ‘dare devil’, and the society and people around you can be evry unkind to you when you are going thru this.

  8. dwaipayan says:

    hey, btw.. thw story on collage was not a whole one..it’s actually the 1st episode, i just forgot to type ‘to be continued’

  9. shantanudas says:

    Sometimes it becomes too late. By the time you know yourself and know what you like it becomes too late.

  10. aswin says:

    ” What if one person finds the right person at the wrong time and the wrong person at the right time” This is one of the toughest questions that one faces in real life, Very well written post on discovering oneself and also discovering one’s life partner.
    Please keep the good work.

  11. Sriharsha says:

    “Choosing the correct spouse and the correct occupation are the two biggest decisions of one’s life”
    Whatever happened to choosing one’s philosophy, one’s way of life… Or as Camus would have said, not much can be said about the 21st century man apart from “he ate and he screwed”?

  12. Neha says:

    Very true i must say.. the first step is identifying what is it that makes u happy… and that by itself is not an easy process… and then to actually do tht… takes courage

  13. Di says:

    hey thanx for the visit…the 2nd half of ur comment had confused me..visiting ur blog cleared it up.. 🙂 nice goin..

  14. Ani says:

    hey! thanx for dropping by!! i knw wat u mean… more so after readin ur post!! yes i am blessed! 🙂

    as far as googling for work and soul fulfillment is concerned… hey dude… life is not a search… it’s an exploration… an experience (and a wonderful one at that!)

    smile a lil…. trust me it’s better than a straight face!!

  15. Radhika says:

    Hello Hiren
    Great article. Great examples too. Really enjoyed reading it. Keep it up my friend

  16. sheena says:

    nice ! very nice.

  17. padma says:

    agree with you cent per cent.

  18. Manish Sinha says:

    hi hiren
    you have touched upon a subject, very close to my heart. I absolutely agree with you . Fortunately I have been reasonably successful in doing what I love…

    and thanks for the links on my post… cheers

  19. fish food says:

    college, is every ones dream come true.

  20. best life says:

    but sometimes we become very Obligate and can’t do anything , we just become silent seeker and everything happen according to lord .

  21. Wow, check out this website: bestkindoflife.com

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